Dreams

All hours of the day and night my mind is racing with lists of items I need to get done, stresses I am trying to work through and daily life maintenance. This has continued into my 'sleep life', which I try to keep separate, but somehow constantly spills over and mostly just keeps me up at night. When I was a teenager I used to choose my dreams. Sounds strange right? I had practiced so much that I would direct my dreams. This was a useful tool when I had too much on my mind. I was able to check out during the night and enjoy a quick vacation on the beach, go hiking or dream about whatever else I chose that night. Since I haven't been sleeping well again because of the economy, and life, and a handful of other things, I need to start practicing again so my sleep in enjoyable again. *Sigh* I wish it were easier.

Facebook Status Updates

I have been thinking about status updates for a while, and how people express themselves on Facebook. I came across this article and thought it was quite interesting.

Throughout the day I think in first-person wondering if I can honestly come up with an interesting Facebook update. Most of the time I fail, and simply write what I am doing in the update. I find that if I write down the things I am truly thinking, which would be an interesting experiment in itself, people might be offended. Just yesterday I censored myself, not from anything horrible, but because I knew it would offend people. Should we truly say what we mean on Facebook? How literary should we be on a social networking website? Is it acceptable to post song lyrics when most people have no idea what you are talking about? What rules apply when updating Facebook? Am I reading too much into this? Maybe I have too much time on my hands.

And since we are on the subject.....I have no idea what Twitter is or how it would be useful in my life.

In fact, I 'unfriended' someone who was updating their status through Twitter. This person posted every 15 minutes or so, and I just couldn't take it anymore and 'unfriended' the person. Was that bad? Did that go against social networking etiquette?

The Housing Market

Let's just say it, the housing market SUCKS!!! When Shawn and I purchased our townhouse in the Bay Area in 2003, we were talked into a variable interest rate. We were assured that refinancing wasn't an issue, and since our plans were to only be in the house 2-3 years, this was our best option. Who, besides Greenspan and a handful of mutli-millionaire executives, knew what was about to hit the United States?

Thankfully we only stayed in the house 18 months, and qualified for a Capital Gains exemption, we made out pretty good. We knew our next house, the one we are currently remodeling, was going to be a house we were going to stay in for 5-7 years. After that time frame, who knows where life is going to lead. We have lots of room in our house, even though we don't like the floor plan so much. We have 5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 1 kitchen, 1 kitchenette that we are remodeling to be full kitchen ready if we ever needed it, and ahem - no dining rooms. We have converted the front bedroom into a dining room, so it's not too much of an issue right now. Plus, our kitchenette downstairs has room for an eat-in area. That's not the point! The point is, that we are blessed to have more than enough room for the two of us.

Here's the real point to this post: I feel terribly bad for all those folks who were talked into a variable interest rate a few years back, Shawn and I included because our current home is under a variable interest rate. Thankfully ours is fixed for 10 years, but still, that puts a bit of pressure on us to refinance. With the way the current market is going, we need to refinance soon before we too, like many other Americans, are upside down in our mortgage. This is not the case yet.

Now comes the ranting part: Every time I think about the hundreds and thousands of people who are taking advantage of the system I feel sick. I personally know a few people who 'short sold' their house just because they didn't want it anymore (then turned around and bought an even bigger house in one case I know of). My question to them would be this: "Who do you think is paying for your lack of responsibility?" You want to know who? Me! And all of the other taxpayers in the world, and all of the people trying to scrape by because their mortgage amount has doubled in the last year, that's who. It is quite understandable if someone has fallen on hard times, but to blatantly take advantage makes me physically sick.

I'm done ranting. Please resume your normal daily activities now.

Public Blogging

Blog Ambiguous is public again. The students from last semester are not longer my students....nor do I think they would keep a blog address for a month or two, in hopes that it would go public again. So, without further ado, Blog Ambiguous is now public. :) More posts to come after the new year.

I cried

There is a video on cnn.com that has touched my heart. If you want to check it out, please click HERE.

Ahhh Crap!

I accidentally posted a comment on a students blog with this blog address. I have no idea how it happened because I am always careful to be signed into the school blog the students are associated with. I guess I have too many blog accounts right now. Anyway, I had to set my blog to private. Please let me know if you prefer to read my blog in private mode, or if I should just delete this blog and make another? I can see this problem happening again because I have online classes next semester again too. Ugggghhhhh! I have no idea what to do.

It brought me to tears

I had quite and interesting experience driving to work yesterday. At a busy intersection in Roseville I noticed demonstrators for Prop 8 standing on all four corners of the intersection holding signs. (For those of you that read this blog and are unaware of Prop 8, click HERE to read up on Prop 8). There were about 25 people standing on each corner holding signs for each side, for a total of about 100 people in this one particular intersection. Signs reading No on Prop 8, and of course the vote Yes on Prop 8 signs. As I drove through the intersection I felt a bit scared. Having not been alive in the 60's (and barely during the 70's), and having never been involved in a protest, I have never experienced anything quite like this before. It was exhilarating! I have stood in the midst of a large group of people before, but never like this. I felt excited and frightened at the same time. I was excited that people are getting out there and taking a stand for what they believe, on both sides.

It literally brought me to tears. I was on the phone when I passed by the intersection and literally had to stop talking because I was so moved by what was happening. I understand that people as a whole can sometimes be quite complacent with what's going on, and on the flip side, can be quite involved at times. But I have never experienced anything like this before. When I drove home later last night after work I passed by the same intersection. It was raining pretty hard, the wind was blowing, but to my amazement, about 400 more people had joined the demonstration in this intersection. I thought, and even commented to one of my students that the demonstrators were probably gone because it was dark by the time I let them out of class and the storm had gotten a bit more intense. I was wrong! (I love when I'm wrong by the way....to me it means that I am learning, and that excites me quite a bit). Getting back to my point, the sidewalks were lined with people, even down the streets on all sides holding up signs for both positions. I can't stress this enough, it moves me like nothing else, when people take a stand for what they believe. It's not who your supporting or what your supporting, it's the fact that the apathy and complacency has drifted away, even if for only a moment, that moves me to tears.

For those in California, have you experienced demonstrators in intersections? I have asked a few people, but have not heard back yet.

I have put this next section in small print on purpose. It is mildly related to the post, but has little to do with it and since I don't want this blog to be a political one, I will probably never mention this again. When I was in college, both undergraduate and graduate degrees, I was this [ ] close to switching majors over to Political Science. I have a deep love for Politics, and that love has never faded. Sometimes I think about going back to school just to learn more about Poli Sci. Perhaps this is why I try not to get into political conversations, and perhaps why I get slightly irritated at people that try to be political 'shockers' rather than sharing their genuine perspective. (To understand the political 'shocker' comment, you would need to understand a bit about my past...and I would be willing to share that, but not on this blog). In short, my love for politics runs deep in my veins, so much so that I can certainly see myself getting emotionally involved in conversations, and to save myself from saying something I will regret later, I completely shy away from these types of conversations. That's it, nothing more to say. Happy voting today!

Frightmare Mansion

My sister and her husband have outdone themselves yet again this year. For those that are not familiar, every year for Halloween they spend endless hours getting a haunted house together for the kids in the neighborhood. This year they have built 13 different rooms to visit that will scare the living poop out of you. Here is a link to their website:

http://hanlyshounds.com/halloween.html

They have also been featured in their local papers for the last few years. Last year that had well over a thousand people visit the haunted house, this year they are expecting quite a few more people. Really, I have never seen anything so spectacular done at a 'home' level where there is no charge. If you want to check out the article in the newspaper, here it is:

http://www.rgj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2008810290305

Melanie (my sister) said that it a pretty big ad with a big picture...the picture is featured in the online version. Kudos to Mel and Justin for putting in so many freaking hours making a wonderful haunted house for the community!

The Wonders of WOW

I will be the first to admit that I'm NOT addicted to WOW. :) I do like it though. I have a level 70 character, and once the expansion is released in a couple of weeks I will soon have a level 80 character. And, I will be starting a NEW character soon. I also do 'daily quests' almost everyday to increase the amount of gold that I have in case I need to make a big purchase in the game. I just recently procured my fast flying mount which is exciting because now I can get from place to place fairly quickly. WOW is somewhat engaging, but also a time to simply checkout from reality and enter a different world, kind of like a mini-vacation whenever you log on.

Here's the point of this post, it's more of a rant really, so bear with me. In the game you gain reputation for experience with certain things. In my case, and for the purpose of this post, I have gained the maximum amount of reputation in a certain area where I complete quests on a daily basis in order to earn gold in the game. A while ago I reached 999 out of 1,000 reputation and noticed that it wouldn't go up anymore. I asked my husband, the WOW guru, why that was. His simple explanation was "999 is the highest you can get". In other words, I CAN NEVER GET TO 1,000. Let me break this down for you......I can NEVER EVER get to 1,000 and 999 is the highest I will ever be able to achieve in this area. Uh, yeah - this bugs me can you tell? Why would Blizzard decide to make the maximum 1,000 if no one will ever be able to achieve that? My husband thinks this is funny. He looked at me during my, "You mean I can NEVER EVER get to 1,000" rant and says, "This is really tweakin' you isn't it?" while sitting back relaxed and smirking. There is so much in THAT statement. In short, YES Shawn, this really bothers me.

Imagine what would happen if I told my students that they could only ever achieve a 99% on their midterms and finals, or 99% in the class because "No one is perfect". I can see their heads exploding even as I type this.

Double Dipping

A couple of weeks ago Shawn and I were watching Food Detectives on the Food Network. While the host of the show, Ted Allen, is a horrendous host, some of the stuff they cover is pretty interesting. Double dipping, is it really that big of a deal? In short, YES! As most of us have probably known for a while, double dipping causes bacteria to be spread from one person to the next. This essentially means that if people are double dipping, dipping a chip or cracker into something, taking a bite, and dipping it again, they are spreading their saliva throughout the bowl of dip or salsa. Uh, YUCK!!!!!

Here is an article from the New York Times to confirm what I'm talking about. Click Here!

Now time for a confession: I have long hated eating out of communal bowls at parties. I can obviously handle eating out of the same bowl as my husband, and certain married couples that I know and hang out with quite a bit. But I try to avoid eating out of the same bowl as anyone else, or sharing drinks for that matter. People are sometimes offended, yes, but as my close friends can probably tell you, I avoid doing this because I don't like other people's germs. It's a psychological thing really. Why can some of us choke down chocolate covered grasshoppers and others not? It's a psychological issue.

Heck, my friends and family can probably reveal to you, for that matter, that I sanitize my bathroom all the time even though it's just my husband and I living in our house, and I sanitize especially after someone else uses my bathroom. At motels/hotels I bring bleach and my own sanitizing wipes, as I revealed to my friend Jaymie a couple of weeks ago. Thankfully she understood where I was coming from, because she does the same thing. :) But here's the issue - I like my stuff clean! It's as simple as that. Yes my house is cluttered. Yes I can stand to vacuum up the dog hair on a more consistent basis. Yes I can stand to dust more. Even though my house may be all those things, the places that 'matter' are sterilized, not only for my protection but for the protection of my guests. Double dipping falls into this category, I want my food 'clean'. I don't mind, at all, people dipping a chip or cracker into a communal bowl, but for heaven's sake, PLEASE DON'T DOUBLE DIP!!!

Birth Order and Personalilty Traits

In my quest for understanding, I have begun to read a bit about birth order and personality traits. I have read very little about this personally, but I have had extensive conversations with friends who have completed their MA degrees in Counseling/Psychology and who are working on their Marriage and Family Therapy Licenses (and let me tell you, they are none too shy to talk about subject such as this). This is NO WAY makes be an expert, or even a credible resource for that matter. But, when I observe people's communication behaviors, I search for meaning - a deeper meaning than writing off one's personality as, "Oh, that's just so and so's personality". I truly believe that we act as we are trained. Or, in short, our behaviors are directly linked to our past experiences.

For example, my extreme fear of loss is a direct result of my father's suicide. I have just recently figured out, within the last week or so, that I am terrified of loss. This is not just death, but any kind of loss (loss of friendship, loss of a loved one, and even people close to me moving away). About a year before my dad's suicide my grandmother passed away and went to be with Jesus. I wasn't bothered by that too much, which know sounds terrible. I miss her terribly, and wish everyday that we can have one last conversation. But, it was only after my dad's death that I become fearful of loss because of the extreme emotions I felt immediately following his death. But let's not delve too deeply into my psyche at this point.

Getting back to my point.....I have been observing conversational patterns in people, or the semantics of conversations if you will, for a couple of years, especially with my students. Why do some people have a tendency to talk about certain subjects repetitively (namely themselves or thier experiences or how much they have accomplished...nor not for that matter)? It seems that some people are chameleons and can converse about anything. And then there are other people who repetitively talk about things, perhaps about themselves, and who are seemingly uncomfortable talking about other things. But, the nature of conversations is interesting. For those that can converse about seemingly anything, they almost never steer the conversation back to them. But those that feel a bit uncomfortable talking about extraneous things, the conversation comes back to a conversation about them, their lives, and only what they are familiar with in their world. But my question is why? Why do some have a tendency to take on pattern A, while others take on pattern B? (I'm know that there are more patterns of conversations, but these are the two I am focusing on right now).

My idea, and that's simply what it is, an idea at this point, is that there are patterns set up from past experiences. And, these experiences have to do with how someone was raised. Therefore, birth order may have something to do with it. Adler's theories can explain some of this, in a parallel way almost to conversational patterns. But Thurstone came up with the idea of the Big Five personality traits which seem a bit more comprehensive. I know, I know, there are many more ideas and explinations for how people behave, which can contain a deeper explination of 'conversational styles' - or behavoirs for that matter. My friends are constantly talking about personality types, enneagrams, and many other theories for that matter than can explain behviors and patterns of conversation for that matter. After all, when a person talks, what spills out is who they are esentially. (Of course this is my limited connection between communication and psychology). For those of you that are out there, who have MUCH more knowledge about this than I, what do you think?