Things about Placerville

Things I didn't know about Placerville before moving here (the BAD list - the GOOD list is coming soon)...

1). Everyone here gets married and has babies really young. God bless those that do and do it successfully, but it seems like there are waaaaaayyyyyyyy too many single moms that are about 15 on the scene here in P-ville.

2). It is a small town in all sense of the phrase. Everyone knows everyone else, and everyone knows everyone else's business. (Apparently we bought this house a while ago....oh wait a minute....no, the story goes: our parents bought this house for us....and another version is: We bought this house so our parents could live here with us....hmmmmm, neither version is true, however, this is what our neighborhood thinks apparently. We promptly set them straight the other night). Crazy, senile, yenta neighbors (and not just out neighbors, people around the block too....weird!!!).

3). Drugs are prevalent. You call the cops because you see a drug deal and they laugh at you....like it's unusual or something.

4). Speaking of cops - some of the cops in P-ville are about 12. You heard me right, they are about 12, with guns, and cars, and that ultra big Mag flashlight waiting to bonk you over the head if you step out of line (but not if you deal drugs).

5). You walk downtown at night, where nothing is open but the three quintessential bars. Women in their late 40's and early 50's still think they are 17 wearing denim mini skirts, halter "T" shirts, and some outdated shoe like Ug Boots or Gelly shoes with that all too noticeable snaggle tooth (if they have teeth left at all), listening to Bon Jovi from the 80's and smoking a cigarette thinking 'they got it goin' on, when really, the goin' left many years ago and it's no longer cute to 'work the bar scene' trollin' for men on a weeknight. A little word of advice - GO HOME AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS SO THEY HAVE A CHANCE IN THIS LIFETIME!!! I'm just sayin'!

6). People named Chet really do work at places like Sherwin Williams (I worked that in twice in two days - I rock!!!)

7). Walmart is a fancy department store - because of course, in Placerville, you can stop and get a medical exam, your glasses, get your prescription filled and get a manicure and a pedicure all at the same time.

8). The only Asian people in Placerville are the ones who work at/own the million Chinese restaurants or are the ones giving the manicures/pedicures (probably to the same women who are hanging out at the bar downtown listening to Bon Jovi until 2 am). Hmmm, I should qualify that - I love Bon Jovi, always will - but really? In a po-dunk town, with no teeth, on a Monday night, smoking a cigarette - it fits all too well.

9). There is normal speed, and there is Placerville speed. You do the math!

10). Everyone is white - except of course for some choice restaurants and manicure/pedicure places. It kind of weirds me out a little bit. There should be more colors, you know, like the rainbow. I am so used to San Jose where everyone is so diverse. Yeah, not so here!

I have learned some other things too, but for fear of being hunted down by the Placerville mafia, who bear a close resemblance of the women down at the bar, and whom I am afraid will come attack me with said snaggle tooth, I shall stop here!