Tess Monster

So some people talk about their kids all the time, but I don't have kids so I talk about my dog. Tess is a funny character. We adopted her about a year and a half ago from a place called Hopalong Pet Adoption or something like that. I saw her picture online and immediately fell in love. To this day she hams it up when a camera comes out. I swear she was Tyra Banks in another life (well, if I actually believed in that). She literally will pose when she sees a camera. She gets these really cute looks on her face and will move around a bit to give the cutest look. I really think she knows what's going on. Anyway, in addition to the really cute things she does, she has some pretty bad habits. First, she scouts around the house to see if we have left anything on the floor for her to get into and eat when we leave the house. Since we have become accustomed to her doing this, we no longer leave things on the coffee table or within doggie reaching distance. But the dog has since outsmarted us. About three weeks ago we made spare ribs (why they are called "spare" is a whole other conversation. Are they really spare or are they needed and usable?) Enough of that, back to my story....so Shawn and I go outside to hang out in the hot tub and about 30 minutes later we come back into the apartment. We walk into the kitchen and see the really heavy duty glass bowl that we once had on the counter now shattered in a million little pieces all over the floor. The kicker? The ribs were gone, the bones were scattered all over the apartment, but there was no blood! Let me paint the picture for you here: Tess Monster stood up on her hind legs, reached up on the counter and pulled the bowl of ribs onto the floor. The bowl shattered probably scaring the crap out of her, but she continued on her mission anyway. She then picked through all of the glass pieces to get to the ribs, ate the meat from the ribs and licked up the sauce from the floor ALL WITHOUT CUTTING HER PAWS OR HER MOUTH!!! She is truly a dog with skill! Not only can she predict earthquakes, she can magically get ribs off of a tall counter, eat the whole bowl of ribs without getting cut, she can also jump on a seconds notice. Just today Shawn was taking her out for a walk and some weird guy in tinnneeeeyyyyy tiny running shorts came up behind her and freaked her out and she jumped on his leg ripping his already too small running shorts. Apparently Shawn did not hear this guy from behind coming up on them, but Tess Monster did. She reacted and tried to protect her daddy by jumping (not biting mind you) on the 'would be' assailant by ripping his shorts (a dog with true skill). And, before Shawn could offer to pay for the shorts (even though this guy was a freak! Who the heck would come up behind a dog and scare the crap out of them?), the guy runs the other direction - but not before momentarily giving my husband and attitude by sarcastically saying "thanks"! What a freak! These are the kinds of things we deal with on a day to day basis with this dog. If we didn't love her so much and weren't as attached to her as we are, we would have probably given her up a long time ago. But, she is our little angel! In fact, she woke up her last owner and saved him from a fire (that is, before he died of natural causes a few years later). She is a very smart dog, but very much a spoiled little brat!