Monday, July 16, 2007


Is it just me or is it strange how people change as they get older?

It is just strange to me where people's lives take them. Through different sets of circumstances, outside forces, decisions made etc.... where people land. You obviously have control over it (mostly), but there is an element of survival and comfort. People settle all the time - crap, I have settled. Not for the things some people settle for, but definitely settled (examples: not going on for a PhD, not starting my own business etc...). But really? My question is this: where could I have gone had I not settled for just a masters degree OR not starting my own business OR getting heavily involved in a church right when we moved OR applying for colleges a year before we moved OR choosing to live in a different house OR taking our investment and lived somewhere more affordable OR had kids a few years ago OR had gotten married younger (we could have gotten married a number of years before we did - crap, we knew we were going to get married, but chose to wait for a number of reasons) OR chose not to buy the townhouse in San Jose OR decided to get a new car with high car payments .....all of these things I could have decided to do, but didn't. Where would my life be?

Had Shawn and I waited to get married another year or so, I would have been well into a PhD program and I can tell ya, my life would have been worlds different than it is now. Any of those decisions could have lead me down a very different path. I think the point here is, is that there is a higher power at work in my life. God has a major place, especially with decisions made. But, any of those decisions could have been 'permissable' and even possibly 'beneficial'. But, I think all in all, I am so thankful of where I am at now. Shawn and I get to spend a lot of time with each other (at first that was hard, but now we found a really good medium and really like it) that we wouldn't have gotten to spend had we chose to do things differently. We may have been in a different house, in a different state, working at different jobs than we are now. But, all in all I wake up every single day thankful to God that we are where we are and in awe of how blessed we truly are. Would I want to be in a different place? Maybe! A PhD would be nice.....having a stable job would be nice.....getting that new car would be nice (except for those payments which I refuse to pay) in a different area would be get the point! But, like I said, all in all, I am happy where we are. We made good decisions, we didn't compromise, we did what we thought was best, we prayed a lot - and looking back, I don't think I could have done things differently even if I tried. It's just interesting to think about where I could have been had I even made one decision differently!

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